My deermons lurk in the shadows of these morning runs. They hear every footfall. They watch with glowing eyes, waiting for me to fall. They taunt me, “Look how far you ARE from what you COULD BE!” I retort, “Go lie in your bed of mud, deermon! Man’s fall from his potential is well known. It is his great agony. But do not steal from my heart the great JOY that is running toward THE IMAGE I was created in!

“A Question Cal Suggests Asking People More Often “What are some of the choices you’ve made that made you who you are?”” (Timothy Ferriss, Tools of Titans) I’m going to give this a try. I tested it out on myself and found this question made me dig a little deeper than I normally do in conversations. Here are some choices I’ve made that made me who I am:

I’ve started running. It has felt hard, but I want to get better at it. So I’ve been researching how to run correctly and how to train my cardiopulmonary system for sustained effort. The main thing that keeps coming up in my research is the importance of Zone 2 training. Zone 2 is a heart rate range where you can keep up conversation fairly easily. It would be considered an “easy” effort level.

My morning consisted of investigating legacy WCF service code that was using reflection-based pattern matching to apply custom validators. I had to increase my coffee intake for that one 😅☕ It’s really easy to just ask an AI agent what the code is doing in these situations, but I like looking at it myself to make sure I really internalize and understand it. Also, agents can be very wrong and confident at the same time.

I am introducing a new spiritual discipline I’ve created for myself called Golgotha. It is a modified version of Misogi, a once‑a‑year, 50/50‑chance‑of‑success challenge with the tongue‑in‑cheek rule ‘don’t die’”, adapted to incorporate Christian reflection and prayer. Earlier this week, I came across a podcast episode with a clickbait-y title, obviously intended to capitalize on the self-improvement aspirations that accompany the transition to a new year. It was this episode of the “My First Million” podcast: If you want a rich life, watch this before 2026.

The author of Reading Cannot Be Replaced, Here’s Why gave words to the hollow feeling I have after sitting in front of a screen for too long: Then, it occurred to me that the feeling wasn’t sadness per se, but a crash from being overstimulated. A crash. Screens evoke the neurological equivalent of a sugar rush. Or at least it feels that way. This reminded me that for a short period of time, I was so fed up with screens that I started printing articles in 8 point font.

This past week, I started a new job as a senior software engineer at Progressive Insurance (contracting via Dexian). Before starting, I read a lot of blog posts and forums online to discover what this job might be like. I wanted to know what to expect and what I could focus on to grow quickly. So now that I’m a week in, I wanted to write my own post about what the first week is like as a senior software engineer.

I really enjoyed this conversation between Brett Kistler and Joe Hudson. They discuss that what we call “time scarcity” is really emotional overwhelm. The key to overcoming that overwhelm and feeling like you have more time? Being present. This message really resonated with me. It’s easy to whip out my phone when I’m feeling overwhelmed, which creates a vicious cycle. But the times when I lock myself in, be present, and experience my emotions are when I feel the most fulfilled and time abundant.

Indexing is one of my favorite parts of journaling. It’s joyfully tedious. There’s no way to do it quickly, and the slower the better in my opinion. I love going through each page one by one, and copying the gist into the index at the front of the journal. The end result of having a fully indexed journal is satisfying, but even better is the process and getting lost reminiscing in long forgotten memories.

I have to admit, when I first launched Fed Meetup, I wasn’t very proud of the UX . I pieced it together quickly to meet a need at NASA, and didn’t make the time to go back and clean it up. But that bad user experience has been a thorn in my side ever since I launched the tool. That’s why I redesigned it from the ground up. The result is a clean, intuitive, and much more beautiful interface.